So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
