I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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