On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So apparently I’m into choking now
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