Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
