On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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