He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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