I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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