i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
