Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this is an emotional support booty call
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
