I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
