ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
