I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
