I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
