hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
