Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
