Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
