Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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