So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize