The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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