JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
