giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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