Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize