This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
