You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
