It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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