she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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