but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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