i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
