It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
