of course. lets lasso hookers.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
