so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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