I wanna bring you to show and tell
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
