Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just invented taco cereal.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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