You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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