So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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