mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize