its not stalking. its research.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
