I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
