we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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