well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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