oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
