Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
