sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
