she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
