Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
