You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize