So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
