OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
