I'm gonna have a badass scar
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
