I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
