So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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