if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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