life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
