god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize