Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
