not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
