remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
