Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
