Rock
Scissors
Fuck
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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