Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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