Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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