erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
