Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
