We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
