In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
