and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize