Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
