Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
