party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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