fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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